


the music in me (the music in you)

by ducksandlilies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward Tsukishima Kei, Fluff, M/M, Pining Tsukishima Kei, Yamaguchi Tadashi's Freckles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:41:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29692404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ducksandlilies/pseuds/ducksandlilies
Summary: Tsukishima finds comfort in music, and finds ease in Yamaguchi. Naturally, the two come together.--Tsukishima processes his emotions through songs and makes a playlist that is wrapped in memories.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43





	the music in me (the music in you)

**Author's Note:**

> i love writing fics to music and playlists so enjoy!
> 
> ALL THE SONGS USED:  
> \- Somebody to Love by Queen  
> \- Still Into You by Paramore   
> \- I do Adore by Mindy Gledhill  
> \- 18 by One Direction  
> \- Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra  
> \- Literally any Harry Styles song  
> \- Lemon Boy by Cavetown (OF COURSE!!)  
> \- Ugly by Nicole Dollanganger  
> \- Freckles by Lawrence  
> \- Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey  
> \- Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

Tsukishima’s childhood was nothing special, but every memory he remembered after the age of eight was clouded in green hair and freckles. 

And once middle school rolled around, and Tsukishima found out how much a lie can hurt, music became an important fixture in his life, replacing the comfort that came with warm arms and summer laughs. 

Music became his big brother, but green hair and freckles continued to cloud those memories too. 

Soon, those two fixtures in his life became intertwined, meshing together into the perfect harmony that became his life, sewing over the wound that was left behind. 

So, naturally, Tsukishima found himself looking at Yamaguchi with music in his ears and lyrics on his lips. 

\--

When they were twelve, maybe thirteen, Yamaguchi had asked what Tsukishima’s favorite color was. 

It had been a week, maybe longer, since Tsukishima had started to cut off his brother’s words by putting on his headphones.

Tsukishima answered green. When Yamaguchi asked why, Tsukishima shrugged and replied that they were the color of dinosaurs in all his picture books. 

While they walked, Tsukishima realized Yamaguchi was humming. 

“What’s your favorite song?”

The question came from nothing, but as always, Yamaguchi didn’t seem fazed.

“I don’t know Tsukki, but this one song has been stuck in my head all week.”

He sang a little, the lyrics muffled at the parts he didn’t know and much clearer when he was confident of the words. 

Tsukishima nodded, and that night he looked up the few lyrics he remembered. 

That was how  _ Somebody to Love  _ by Queen became the first song on his never-ending playlist. 

When the app asked him to name the playlist, he thought, before typing out his answer.

_ green _

_ \-- _

The last year of middle school, Yamaguchi became obsessed with cartoons, especially  _ Steven Universe _ . 

Because of this newfound obsession, Yamaguchi was always singing the songs from the soundtrack.

As they walked to school, Yamaguchi would ramble about the show and the characters. 

As they studied, he would hum the songs. 

It followed him everywhere, it seemed.

So naturally, Tsukishima put music to this time period of Yamaguchi’s life by adding his green haired friends' favorite songs to the playlist.

\--

The playlist slowly grew as time passed and Tsukishima realized how musical Yamaguchi was. 

But the songs seemed to multiply when they got to highschool.

Suddenly, music always followed the boys, drums in their footsteps and rhythm in their tapping. 

\--

Sometimes Yamaguchi would ask what he’s listening to. 

Tsukishima would usually shrug, not wanting to answer. 

Yamaguchi, as always, would continue to speak, even without an answer, most of the time mentioning a new song or band or singer that he was interested in because he knew Tsukishima liked to talk about music.

  
And in the back of his head, Tsukishima would make notes so that he could look up every lyric and every name Yamaguchi said. 

\--

Yamaguchi was a fine singer, not spectacular, but not terrible. Entirely average, and yet Tsukishima found himself endeared by the sound as he passed by the locker room.

Volleyball practice was over, but Yamaguchi had forgotten something in the locker room, meaning Tsukishima was to wait outside of the room for him. But Yamaguchi was taking much longer than he should, and Tsukishima was a curious being when it came to his friend. 

As he passed by the locker room, he realized there was singing. And Tsukishima immediately recognized the voice.

The singing was low, but Tsukishima could tell there was more coming.

“ 'Cause after all this time

I'm still into you.”

A pause before Yamaguchi was now belting. Given the sound of footsteps, Tsukishima assumed he was also dancing and this was enough of a push for Tsukishima to finally peek into the room. 

“I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you, I'm into you

And even baby our worst nights

I'm into you, I'm into you!”

Tsukishima had been right, Yamaguchi was dancing. Feet pounding as he spun, pointing at a random object in the room. Tsukishima found himself leaning against the doorway, hoping to not disturb this scene, but not being able to look away. 

“Let 'em wonder how we got this far,

'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all

Yeah, after all this time

I'm still into-”

Yamaguchi finally turned around, dramatically, eyes closed. But when he did open his eyes, he was staring directly at Tsukishima, who was definitely smirking. 

“I was wondering what was taking so long.”

“Tsukki-” 

The poor boy was blushing bright red, nose scrunched up and eyes wide in embarrassment. 

Tsukishima’s insides burned at the sight. 

“Let’s go home, Yamaguchi.”

\--

When Tsukishima got home, he looked up the song, finding it easily enough. 

_ Still Into You  _ by Paramore became another memory wrapped in lyrics. 

\--

The following week, as was normal for the two boys, Yamaguchi stayed over at Tsukishima’s house to study and eat dinner. 

It was comfortable and routine and Tsukishima melted into the familiarity. 

As they made their way up to Tsukishima’s room, Yamaguchi sprawled himself over the bed, groaning. 

“I don’t want to do math!”

Tsukishima snickered as he sat down at his desk. “Then don’t.”

Yamaguchi pouted, “you’re a terrible influence. You’re supposed to be giving me an encouraging pep talk.”

“Sounds like something I’d do.”

Yamaguchi giggled and the sound filled the room. “Tsukki, let's listen to some music!”

“Fine but don’t choose anything weird, I’m actually going to do the math homework.”

Another giggle, and then the sound of quiet typing as Yamaguchi picked a song. 

“Everything you do, it sends me

Higher than the moon with every

Twinkle in your eye

You strike a match that lights my heart on fire.”

The song was cutesy and lyrics cheesy if anything, but Tsukishima found himself thinking it was just like Yamaguchi to pick such a song. 

“It’s a cute song, huh Tsukki?”

Tsukishima turned around to look at Yamaguchi who was sprawled onto the bed, staring up at the fake stars they had hung together on his ceiling, cheeks pink and a smile that scrunched up his nose and hid his freckles. 

“Sure, Yamaguchi.”

_ I do Adore  _ by  Mindy Gledhill was quickly added to the playlist.

\--

The next time they hung out, Tsukishima found himself in Yamaguchi’s bedroom, he swore his heart was twisting and his expression was sour.

Yamaguchi sat on the ground, leaning against the bed, Tsukishima sat next to him. They had been listening to the radio, a random song playing against the quiet of the room, when Yamaguchi had turned towards Tsukishima.

“I think I like Yachi.”

Tsukishima didn’t turn to face him, fearing that if he did, his heart would collapse. 

“You should ask her out then.”

“Think she’d say yes?”

The song changed, the tune carrying out the silence.

Tsukishima wanted to say she was an idiot if she said no, how could someone not love Yamaguchi? How could anyone turn away from his steady drumming of fingers and the poetry of his freckles? Yamaguchi was everything good, the only consistency Tsukishima had ever known. How could anyone say no?

“I don’t know, Yamaguchi.”

The words were sharp, and Tsukishima knew the tone was too harsh. 

And every moment of silence lasted an eternity as the song stretched and stretched, seemingly never ending. And though it hurt, Tsukishima knew he would remember the bitterness of his heart, Yamaguchi’s presence next to him, and the song playing in the background. 

He would remember, remember, remember. 

And that night, when Tsukishima sat in his room, staring at his dinosaur figures, most of which Yamaguchi had gifted him in middle school, his heart ached and his head hurt; but he still opened the playlist and still typed out a song.

_ 18  _ by One Direction.

Tsukishima almost laughed because it was a random One Direction song on a random station on the radio, but now it was a song that stung. 

Even so, Tsukishima added it to the  _ green  _ playlist because he didn’t want to forget. He refused to forget any moment with Yamaguchi, even if it caused him to wilt when the first notes played. 

\--

The next time Yamaguchi brought her up, no song followed. 

They were sitting in the park, Yamaguchi had dragged Tsukishima to the swings, sitting down and immediately pushing his legs to get higher, higher, higher. 

“She doesn’t like me.”

“You confessed?”

Yamaguchi was flying. Tsukishima was stuck with his feet on the ground. 

“No. I liked her, but not enough. And she doesn’t like me.”

“Ok.”

And Tsukishima rarely paired songs to moments on his own, but right now Yamaguchi was flying, legs pumping as he soared into the sky. 

And lyrics were playing in the back of his head.

_ Fly me to the moon _

_ Let me play among the stars _

( _ Fly Me to the Moon _ by Frank Sinatra)

\--

Tsukishima thought he knew everything about Yamaguchi. How could he not learn every freckle and every smile when he spends so much time with the boy? Admiring him?

But today, as he sat on Yamaguchi’s bed, reading a book while he scrolled on his phone, he found out something new.

“Ugh, he’s so hot!” Yamaguchi threw himself onto the floor, sprawling out like a starfish. 

Tsukishima hummed. 

Wait. He turned to look at his friend who was now staring at the ceiling, huffing like this person’s hotness was a personal offense.  _ No, _ Tsukishima thought,  _ not just a person, a he. HE. _

Tsukishima coughed, trying his best to look uninterested. “Who?”

“Harry Styles!”

That was definitely a male singer.

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi was now sitting up, staring at him. “You okay?”

“You,” he paused, “you, uh, that’s cool.”

The air was tense, Yamaguchi suddenly seeming uncomfortable. 

“Is that a problem?”

It took Tsukishima a second, but that second was enough for Yamaguchi’s face to fall. “No! Not a problem!”

Their eyes met and Tsukishima could tell Yamaguchi was searching for something, though he couldn’t tell what, before smiling. 

“Ok, Tsukki!”

“Ok, Yamaguchi.”

\-- 

The  _ green  _ playlist flooded with Harry Styles’s music that night. 

And for once, Tsukishima thought about maybes and what ifs. 

\--

**From; Yamaguchi**

_ this song is totally us!!!! _

_ >link attachment< _

**To; Yamaguchi**

_ Are you calling me sour, Yamaguchi? _

**From; Yamaguchi**

_ whhaaatttt? i would never tsukki!!! _

**To; Yamaguchi**

_ Sure, Yamaguchi, sure.  _

\--

Tsukishima had to admit, maybe he was a little sour, and maybe  _ Lemon Boy  _ by Cavetown did oddly fit their friendship. 

And maybe, just maybe, it became one of his favorite songs on the playlist. 

\--

Tsukishima did not expect to see Yamaguchi crying, no, sobbing after school behind the gym, and the sight caused something in him to hurt, his world twisting as he slid next to his best friend. 

“Yamaguchi?”

He realized too late that the boy -sitting on the floor, back against the wall- had earbuds in.

His hand moved before he could think, grabbing one of the earbuds and putting it on. 

The music hit him instantly, something quiet and heartbreaking and Tsukishima immediately realized that there was more to the tears than just the music. 

“Yamaguchi?”

This time, the boy turned to look at him, his tears clinging to his face and his nose snotty and his mouth twisted. 

“Tsukki,” he whimpered, “do you think I’m ugly?”

Tsukishima stared at Yamaguchi, trying to dig through the questio, trying to find its core. 

Because of course he didn’t think Yamaguchi was ugly. 

Not when Yamaguchi could fly and touch the stars.

Not when Yamaguchi’s body was made up of stars. 

Because if Yamaguchi was anything, he was a symphony within a galaxy. Alive and real and comforting and so very beautiful. 

“Of course not,” Tsukishima answered, grabbing his friend's hand. 

“Don’t lie, Tsukki, please not right now.”

“I would never lie to you, Yamaguchi.”

And it hurt to think that Yamaguchi couldn’t see what he saw, because what he saw was so good and it made his ears ring when he saw tears form again. 

“I used to try to erase my freckles.”

Tsukishima glanced down at the freckles right under Yamaguchi’s eye and wondered what a galaxy would look like without stars. 

“I like them.”

The sound of a sniffle, before a giggle broke it. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And as they walked home, Yamaguchi didn’t take back his earbud from Tsukishima. Tsukishima didn’t mention it, the songs flowing, but all he could remember was the somber tone of the song he had found Yamaguchi crying to. 

It took him a lot of time, hours that were used up by searching half of the lyrics, but he finally found the song. 

_ Ugly  _ by Nicole Dollanganger. 

\--

When they hung out that weekend, Yamaguchi decided he wanted to go on a picnic at the park. As if they don’t already go to that park enough.

But as they sat down, setting up the food and the blanket, Tsukishima realized they must look like a couple, on a date. The idea made him swell, even if his cheeks did turn red. 

“Tsukki! What kind of music do you want?” Yamaguchi was already shuffling through his thousands of playlists.

“I, uh, actually have a song.”

At that, Yamaguchi looked up beaming. “Ok, Tsukki!”

Tsukishima dug for his phone, pulling up a song that he had picked out specifically to show Yamaguchi.

_ Freckles  _ by Lawrence.

As the lyrics played, Yamaguchi eyes closed, a grin spreading across his cheeks and Tsukishima couldn’t help but stare. 

The second Tsukishima had heard this song, he immediately knew he had to show Yamaguchi. Usually, they would text each other songs, but this felt important and Tsukishima wanted to see his expressions, hoping this could convey something, anything.

When Tsukishima finally snapped out of his thoughts, he found Yamaguchi still smiling, eyes still closed, but quiet tears streaming down his cheeks. 

“Yamaguchi!”

“I’m okay.”

The song came to his end, the lyrics hanging in the air. 

“You really like them, huh, Tsukki?”

_ They’re like stars. _

“Yeah.”

\--

_ green  _ soon became  _ green galaxies. _

_ \-- _

Tsukishima knew he was in love with his best friend. 

But to see the playlist laid out on his computer screen in front of him, showing every memory and every song, it hit him.

He was in love with Yamaguchi. 

And he knew, he had known since that time in his second year of middle school when Yamaguchi had taken his hand, to pull him towards their next class, and his heart beat too fast for it to be platonic. 

Or maybe he had known since his first year of middle school when Yamaguchi and him were catching fireflies and all Tsukishima could think as moonlight hit his friend like a stage light, was  _ wow. _

Or maybe he had realized the second he had started the playlist, way back in elementary school, when Tsukishima had said his favorite color was green. 

But now Tsukishima had words to the feeling, had drums and guitars, harmonies and rhythm. 

\--

The volleyball team was hyped, everyone anxious as they sat in the bus, the energy was buzzing, and even affected Tsukishima who was lightly tapping a beat with his foot. 

“Tsukki, are you nervous?”

“No.” It was Tsukishima’s immediate reflex answer, simple and not totally a lie.

He wasn’t nervous. Not for the game at least, more so what comes afterwards. Because today Tsukishima was going to give Yamaguchi the playlist and confess his feelings. 

Yamaguchi giggled, as if he could see the defensiveness of the statement, his voice teasing as he said, “ok, Tsukki! If you need to hold my hand, let me know.”

The statement had Tsukishima blushing and to make matters worse, Yamaguchi punctuated the sentence with a wink. 

“I’m not a child, Yamaguchi.”

“My offer still stands!”

  
  
  


Tsukishima didn’t think this bus ride could get any worse until somebody, namely Tanaka and Noya, began singing. 

And to his absolute horror, everyone else joined in. 

“ J ust a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train goin' anywhere.”

He looked over to see Yamaguchi’s eyes light up, his grin widening, making his nose scrunch and his eyes crease. 

“Take it away, Yams!” That was Hinata’s voice, but it barely registered as Yamaguchi stood up from his seat (Tsukishima thought for a second that maybe that wasn’t super safe).

But now, Tsukishima was staring up at Yamaguchi who was standing, hands clutching the seat in front of him. 

“Just a city boy

Born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train goin' anywhere!”

Tsukishima flushed bright red because his heart was drumming to the beat of Yamaguchi’s singing. 

Somehow, Tsukishima was sure his hair was flowing (probably due to the open windows, he later figured out when he thought back to the moment).

And Tsukishima wanted to look around, to check if anyone saw how beautiful and carefree and alive Yamaguchi looked right - hair flowing, eyes creased, and nose scrunched - but he couldn’t bring himself to look away. 

And then Yamaguchi sat down, laughing, as the rest of the team sang along. 

He was still laughing as the song came to the end and Tsukishima had to look away because it was all too bright. 

\--

Tsukishima didn’t show him the playlist that night.

But a new song was added. 

( _ Don’t Stop Believin’  _ by Journey)

\--

A month later, Tsukishima found himself at the park where he had first met Yamaguchi, sitting on the swings, his oldest friend on the swing beside him. 

They were silent but it wasn’t stifling, instead giving Tsukishima much needed relaxation after a stressful day at school. 

They hadn’t looked at each other when they sat down, and the walk to the park was a quiet one. He wasn’t sure why but today felt different. 

“Yamaguchi? You’re really quiet today.”

Yamaguchi hummed, tilting his head to look at Tsukishima. 

More silence, except this one was expectant. 

Tsukishima let the silence take over. 

\--

“Tsukishima? What are you listening to?”

They were walking home, Yamaguchi chattering away while Tsukishima wore his headphones, the music low enough where he could still listen to his friend. 

Tsukishima froze for a second, before detaching his headphones from his ears and placing them over Yamaguchi’s.

Startled, the green haired boy stumbled in his step, as the music quietly flowed. 

“What’s this playlist called Tsukki?”

Tsukishima knew that Yamaguchi was looking over at him, but he refused to meet his eyes. 

“ _ Green galaxies. _ ”

Yamaguchi hummed and Tsukishima knew he was smiling.

\--

Memories were attached to music and Yamaguchi was the embodiment and sometimes it hurt to think about. 

Because a song would play and Tsukishima would think back to stars and trees and smiles. 

And he loved to hear the songs and see the memories, but other times it caused his heart to twist and stomach to ache. 

_ But that’s okay,  _ Tsukishima thought,  _ that’s okay.  _

\--

The next time Tsukishima listened to the playlist was with Yamaguchi in the room; the green haired boy had requested it saying “all his favorite songs were on it.”

Tsukishima had wanted to snort and smirk, but instead nodded and did as told. 

Tsukishima would have been nervous to play it in front of him, except he had already shown the boy the playlist, and nothing had changed between them. So he grabbed his phone and let the music play. 

But when Tsukishima sat down next to Yamaguchi on the bed, grabbing at his book, something stopped him. 

A hand came to rest on his. 

“I really like this playlist, Tsukki!”

They’re hands were now intertwined and Tsukishima gulped. 

Yamaguchi pushed himself up and kissed his cheek.

“Thanks, Tsukki.”

_ Mr. Loverman  _ by Ricky Montgomery played around them. 

\--

That night, after more giggling and blushing, Yamaguchi went home, kissing Tsukishima’s cheek once more. 

And when Tsukishima went back to bed, he dreamt of a forest under a starlit sky. 

\--

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
